Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize