mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
This toilet bowl is my home.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
