carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
