dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
