I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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