I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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