But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Randomize