Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
