Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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