How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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