he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
