i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
