Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
