Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Your penis caused this!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
