Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
