he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
