1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
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theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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