so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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