no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
