yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
