I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
