six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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