I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I looked at my own cervix.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We are all done wearing pants today
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
