he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
