She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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