**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
