I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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