Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i think i have two assholes
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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