i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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