Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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