In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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