Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
