I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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