Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
