I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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