Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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