i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
