another moral hangover. fuck.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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