I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
