haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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