A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
