i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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