Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
