This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
