I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I can text with my tongue
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
