i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
