I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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