Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
