Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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