is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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