in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
