Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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